Five Things You Can Give Up To Regain Happiness



166642_10150375089860463_5588847_nHi there.

It is Friday...As I woke up this morning and took my kids to school and wished them a happy day at school I thought about the meaning of happiness.

Is there anything in life that can cloud our happiness or even block it? What are we willing to give up to regain happiness and peace of mind? Let’s dive into the meaning of the word “HAPPINESS” According to the Webster dictionary the word happiness means three things:

1. Fortune and Prosperity

2. State of Being Content

3. Satisfying Experience

Never thought one of the meanings would be good fortune and prosperity. We have only believed that happiness would be a state of being content and satisfying pleasurable experience.What choices do we have to make to be happy and what does happiness mean to you?  Unfortunately we go through motions as adults and find ourselves lost, hopeless and even depressed.

Do you remember when you were a kid and played with friends and nothing mattered to you, but fun and play? You felt joy, freedom and you were accepted as you were.  As we get older , we lose a sense of play and what matters to us. We become professional collectors of STUFF and STUFF defines  our happiness. We live in the boxes and work in the very small cubicles and define our happiness by the size of our office, the size of our house and car brands we drive. Outside success becomes our temporary happiness.

What if it is taken away? Then what? Can we still be happy? I believe it all comes to conditioning our mindset and making it strong to withstand the storms of life that can take our happiness a way for a moment. It happened to me.

As I faced many obstacles and struggled through my divorce, I was loosing a sense of happiness and thought that when things get settled I would be happy then. But they never did as I expected.

Over time I realized that happiness was a choice, and it was an ongoing learning process. It is a choice of letting go of what pollutes your state of mind and blocks you from having the satisfying life experiences. Happiness is allowing the world see your gifts and talents and using them to make a difference.

But…we are afraid to shine our true talents and gifts because  we were told we should be focusing on something solid and practical and get serious about our life. We are reminded we must be practical and take care of our life. I totally understand. We must take care our today’s needs and obligations, but our future depends on what we choose today.

What we choose today will show up in our life a year or 5 years from now.  I hope you choose happiness and being a person who is radiating joy, passion and confidence. I hope you will take actions that will allow happiness in your life. I hope you will do things that give you a feeling of ultimate joy and satisfaction.

When it comes to regaining happiness we all face our fears. Quite often, it is a fear of accepting ourselves as we are and living life according to somebody’s else standards and beliefs about ourselves that contradict the core of who we in reality.  Growing up in Russia my definition of happiness was my family gathering for a brunch on Sunday morning and my grandma house was my place of happiness where vanilla aroma and fresh baked bread reminded me I was loved and cared of.  We lived in one bedroom apartment with my parents and yet my parents allowed me experience life: from teaching me skating and skiing and putting me through years of ballroom dancing.  We cared for our neighbours and invited them for dinners and coffee on Friday night or even on a casual Monday evening. We took time to bring happiness in our life.

But we live in the world where we are afraid to invite a neighbour for a cup of coffee because we are just too busy working in collect STUFF that eventually will ruin and we will throw it away.

We are simply afraid to be ourselves. We see others being happy and we get jealous of their happiness instead of finding our own. We complain about our life. We surround ourselves with people that do not reflect who we are inside but who we try to be. We create an artificial environment because we are not living our truth…

Good news! We can really change it.

There are FIVE things we have to give up in order to give space to positive energy and feel happy again.

1. Complaining.

Think about all the times you have complained. What if you could find gratitude? My good friend and my mentor Katerina once said,  “It is destroying your life from inside. It destroys everything you have built and tried to do.

I agree. Gratitude is the antidote to our complaining. But if we can open our minds and see the reality of what it does to our life and we replace with deep authentic gratitude.

2. Unhealthy relationships and negative environment.

Do you feel blah after meeting such people and feel drained emotionally and even physically? Have you been in a toxic relationship with your loved one or even a friend? What did you do? Did you stay? Did you communicate openly that the other person need to make a new choice in their life if they want to keep a relationship strong and healthy?

3. Lack of passion

We focus so much on doing WORK and doing things to make ourselves happy but what if we find our passions instead. Passion means passing energy…PASSION ( PASS IONS). Knowing your passion will keep your happy. It will push you forward during life transitions.

4. Criticism

We are often too tough on ourselves. We keep digging and seeking our flaws. Every day when you find something wrong with you, you develop a pattern of seeing yourself as a failure, a looser and much more. It is time to change it. I do recommend affirmations as you look into the mirror. What is your favorite affirmation? How do you want people to view you? Write it down. That is your new affirmation.

5. Staying Busy- Not Productive

We get involved into too many things: from sports activities with kids, planning events and parties and trying to fit into other people schedules.  We also spend a lot of time on social media without learning something or sharing value. It is okay to do something fun but if it is not productive it will take your energy away.

Are you afraid to slow down and just do nothing for 1 hour a day? What would you do to relax and recharge? Then do it. Your body and your mind will be happy!

Write down your priorities for the next week and stick to them. Eliminate extra events from your schedule. Give yourself a break and recharge. Ask yourself “Is it good for me?

I hope it helps. I hope every morning you do somethings that makes you excited about life and brings happiness into every little moment of life!



Coach Tatyana

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