Month: September 2016

How to move on after a breakup and find an ecstatic joy in life

By Tatyana Gann

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In the movie The Silver Linings Playbook the character says , “I don’t want to stay in the bad place, where no one believes in silver linings or love or happy endings.” He lost everything. He was lost. But somewhere inside he knew there was a hope for LOVE.

Breakups are like that…They break us apart.  They take love away. We do not want to stay in the bad place. We believe in the silver lining and things do work out.

And actually, they do work out.

Breakups tore us apart, so we can see the light. Breakups are not designed to destroy us and lead us into the darkness. They are made for our personal growth if we get our lesson.

After a divorce or a bad breakup, it is so easy to find yourself being miserable and living in the place filled with pity. We can comfort ourselves with wine, food and chocolate. But instead, we can discover new life energy within ourselves that was hiding ready to emerge.

First…We can be grateful…
Be grateful? Really? Are you kidding me?
You tell me I should be grateful for the breakup’s pain? YES
You tell me I should be grateful for the wasted time? YES.
You tell me I should be grateful for arguments we have had? YES.
Gratitude is the most powerful force to get you out of the funky mood. It is not cheesy. It works every time!

Practice it for the next 21 days. Begin your gratitude change if you want to find love again. Because if you stay in the toxic memories, you will not be the most attractive person to be around. It will affect everything you do including your career and relationships with friends. Only you can change it.

Secondly, remember there are no losses. We let go of one person not to replace him or her with somebody else. We let go of our loved ones so we can find love for ourselves. Only then, we can allow space to love someone new. It may not be the same type of love you have felt but it is a new love and a new experience.
One of my favorite personal development authors Florence Shinn said, “There is no loss in Divine Mind, therefore, I cannot lose anything that is rightfully mine. “
Every person we meet is our teacher. They reveal what we can work on. They reveal what we can change so our next relationship can be more authentic, genuine and more compassionate.
The truth breakups happen because of our big EGO.

The good news you can move on with an attitude of gratitude and say (silently) to the one who broke your heart, “THANK YOU for loving me when I was imperfect and thank you for leaving me to be more loved!”
Try and see how you feel. Do you feel a shift after saying THANK YOU to the one who is no longer with you?

This week please try to do something fun and yes it can be in the middle of the week. Watch a comedy, hike, listen to fun happy music. Then from the place of joy think about your new life chapter.

If you need help, schedule a free session today! 

With love
Tatyana

How to stop being jealous and start moving towards our dreams

By Tatyana Gann

 

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Hi there

As I was scrolling through my morning emails, I noticed an interesting subject that I would love to discuss further: How to Turn Jealousy Into Motivation To Achieve Goals.
As a life coach, I have witnessed many women being jealous of their successful peers. They become miserable, angry and ridicule every successful woman they meet.

I often ask myself, “Why do women do that? What does it for them?
My answer is low self-worth and giving up on the dreams but that it is another separate discussion.

I strongly believe that anyone can turn jealousy into the motivation, re-spark their passion and get moving towards their dreams. 
A wise woman can turn jealousy into the motivation, experience breakthroughs, and achieve new goals.
I believe that our belief system is responsible how we feel.
It is our deep beliefs system that blocks our goal achievement. It is our ego.
1. We are afraid to fail.
2. We are not worthy
3. I am brand new who would want me
This belief system can make us jealous and prevent from taking actions. Our ego does not want us see our true potential and be our best. It feeds on comparing ourselves to others, judging, being angry and ungrateful.

In my short article, I will describe how you can change it around in three short steps. They are not spiritual practices. They are simply your actions.
1. Look at where you are in life.

If you are a beginner at what you do, there is no point to be jealous of more successful women. Instead, reach out to them and build relationships with them, be of service and provide your fresh perspectives. Be grateful you have women you can look up to.
2. No success

If you are not successful yet or struggling with your business make sure you learn what they do. Watch them and make notes how they do it. Learning new skills is a humbling experience. It is about accepting the fact your need to grow and become the best version of yourself. Jealousy of their expertise is not too bad in my opinion. It can push you forward and get you unstuck. It will push you to take actions you never did.


3. Set your goals.

In goal setting, it is important to know what kind of goals want you to achieve so you avoid comparison and start being proactive in achieving your goals. You have to start by asking yourself a few goal questions that can be broken down into Goal questions, Reality questions, Option questions and Will questions.

BASIC GOAL QUESTIONS:
What is short term goal?
What is the long term goal?
What do you need to deliver to your customers?
What does success look to you?

REALITY QUESTIONS to ask yourself the reality of your situation, skills, time issues, process and how you have come so far.
What is going on in your life now?
How busy are you?
What is working and what is not working?
Do you have extra time?
Do you need new skills to achieve this goal and what can you use now to get it done?

OPTION QUESTIONS– Remember you have options and plan B strategy to achieve the same goal.
What are the benefits and negatives of each goal?
What else can you do?
What would it take to achieve it?
What is good about this option?

WILL QUESTIONS– Once you understand your goals and believe in them you can start moving forward
When will I start?
What will I do first?
How likely will I succeed?

By answering these questions, you will focus on taking actions and be real with yourself rather than being stuck and jealous.

If you are ready to make a change in your life and feel you need help book your free consultation today.

Click here to book your 30 min free session


Thank you
Coach Tatyana