Self-forgiveness and self-love. Two topics. Two beginnings. Two outcomes. Where do we start? Do we start forgiving ourselves because we love…or do we love because we forgive? That is the question we ask ourselves as we embrace the journey of self-love and self-forgiveness and forgiveness in general.
In the past two years as I coached clients, the topic of forgiveness has been the most important topic my clients wanted to discuss and to work through the issues that affected their forgiveness of others or themselves.
It was a tough area that I personally dealt with as I was going through a challenging divorce. Today it would have been my wedding anniversary, 21 years, and I am okay sharing it because we are human and life happens. Did I feel sadness? Yes. Did I feel gratitude? YES?
I hope you can benefit from learning mindset tactics that can help you feel LIGHT and HAPPY again because that is what forgiveness does.
- It gives you peace of mind, fills your heart with hopes, joy and inspiration.
- It is no longer a heavy feeling in your heart.
- It is a feeling of love, compassion, kindness and peace.
How do we forgive ourselves? Let me show you how you can adjust your thought patterns and simple things you can do to start forgiving yourself for mistakes, flaws and your life regrets.
Okay. Let’s go!
1. Write down everything that burdens you.
Everything…YES EVERYTHING. You need to be honest with yourself and be raw. You must bring everything to the surface so you can face it. That is where your healing starts.. It is a place of personal awareness.
2. Write down how you want to feel as a result of self-forgiveness.
It is a vision you have for your life. It is an outcome you see in your mind. How does it feel to feel self-forgiveness? What will it do for your life? How would you feel to forgive another human being? Will you feel compassion, more love, understanding?
Do you have any fears associated with forgiveness? Often we are afraid to forgive because we think we will be considered weak if we show compassion and kindness. Actually it is your strength. It takes a strong person to forgive. It takes a strong person to drop ego and forgive. What matters is your decision to forgive and being able to forgive.
It does take time to forgive. Forgiveness of others and ourselves is an experience. It is a journey of knowing yourself, your values, your standards and overcoming fears of future. It is about rebuilding yourself and becoming a better version of yourself.
3. Think of new choices you must make in order to make your life better.
New choices will help you see your past mistakes and understand that at that moment you did not understand certain life principles and you did your best or what you perceived as the best option. As you start establishing your new patterns you will see yourself in a new light. You will rebuild your confidence because self-forgiveness helps you see yourself less broken and more hopeful.
4. Write down your values. When you know your values stick to them. It will help you establish new boundaries and honor who you are and what you stand for.
5. Know your mentors.
Be careful what kind of teachers and mentors you surround yourself with. Not everyone will give you best advice. Everyone has their agenda and their life experiences. Trust your gut and consult with the ones who have similar values. That is why it is so important to establish your core values. write them down. Ask yourself if your teachers fit the mold of your new values.
6. Know your friends.
We live in the world of social media where everyone is a friend. Be picky about your inner circle. Your friends will influence you. What influence do you want to have in your life?
In the end I want to share the biggest a-ha moment: As you fill your heart with MORE love for yourself, it will be easy to forgive others and yourself. Self-love means removing the layer of perception others create for you and accepting yourself as you are this very moment. From that point you can only choose what is best for you and you make the best decisions to improve your life, your lifestyle, your business, your wellness plan, your spiritual and personal growth. You make an effort to discover the best qualities in you and nurture them. As you grow, your will see your previous choices from the place of compassion and start appreciating yourself even more. Then you can forgive yourself with ease.
7. Start enjoying your life.
Start doing this your love. Write a list of new things you want to try. Get yourself in a happy state of mind. You might discover new things about yourself you did not know you could do and you can make new friends.
Every hour of your life …you either exist or you love! As you find forgiveness in your heart, you will find TRUE LOVE as you look in the mirror! Yes,TRUE LOVE is YOU!
If you think it was a helpful advice please share it with others.
If you are open to making changes in your personal life, let’s talk. Schedule your 40 min free session today and I look forward to helping you.