Three big lessons you can learn from your haters and how to win your battles!


Can we love haters who challenge us and why should we love them? Once my mentor told me ‘Tatyana, love them!” For a brief moment, I thought she was so wrong. How can I love people who hate me even the ones who try to hide behind their masks.

With social media platforms such as Facebook Twitter and YouTube it is easier to post a nasty comment and react with anger and pain. We become quite negative about our haters on social media especially if they attack our business, our dreams and goals. We just give them a piece of mind! Sounds familiar?

But how do we handle it?

I have noticed that quite very successful entrepreneurs LOVE posting about their haters and how they stood up for their values and showed others how to handle the ones who were jealous of their success or how they should respond to the attacks on social media.

What If tell you one BIG secret?!   Haters are YOUR TEACHERS. They are not your enemies. They are NOT your friends. Just teachers.

  • They teach you how to respond with love
  • They teach you how to love yourself.
  • They teach you to recognize your hidden emotions.
  • They teach you about your self-worth.  Do you feel you have to prove you are MORE than them?
  • They show YOUR flaws. What if that hater is showing you something you do not like about yourself?

They teach us three important lessons so we can clear personal deep issues and have a better life.

Lesson 1. Swing effect

Kids love to be pushed on the swing.  I still remember my mom gently pushing me on the swing in my grandma’s backyard.  I felt free and happy. But then there were moments when kids I played with would purposely push me on the swing to upset me and If I asked them to stop, they simply ignored my demands.

Do you get my point? How do you respond to people when they push your buttons? 

As we deal with haters, no matter how strong we have tried to look in dealing with them, we still respond with negative emotions by acknowledging their presence. We try to prove we are much stronger than them.

But the key is not your strength..It is your peace and love in your heart towards the situation. You may say, “Yeah, Right…How is that possible?”

But in order to achieve that, you must become love, feel peace in your heart and create harmony within. You cannot give love if you do not own love. If somebody swings hate into your direction…send some love back. Love or hate…your choice. It will come to back to you.  What do you want to receive in life? Love or hate? I am sure LOVE.

Not everyone can respond with love. It requires practice.


What you give…you receive…Do you want to be embraced with a wave of love or wave of….toxic poop?

It is your choice…if they send negative energy….send love instead by staying calm and visualizing a ball of beautiful sparkling energy going back to them on the same swing.

Lesson 2. True Emotions

Notice what emotions have surfaced. Few days I chatted with a very successful coach on Facebook. She has tried to hide her true emotions after she was bullied by another successful woman.  She shared her feelings with others and encouraged others to ignore haters. She said she was perfectly fine, and she was not paying attention to her “bully”. However, I could see she has given all her attention to the one who upset her the most. She gave part of her power away and I had to explain to her that her bully was her teacher. If she did not have something that needs to be addressed, the bully would not be present in her life. Ignoring haters WILL not  change what is going inside of you. They will come back into your life until you learn a lesson.

The only way to stop all the madness is to recognize their value in your growth. Be grateful that you have been shown the areas in your life you could work on. You will be able to create space for something wonderful in your life once you clear negative emotions built up within you. YES, be grateful to your “hater”.  He is not your enemy…got it? He or she is YOUR teacher.

Work on releasing all the negative emotions. If you felt you have been attacked, work on the matters of self- love and trust towards yourself and others. I do EFT, meditations, journaling, integrated energy therapy and lot of prayers. I turn to God in prayer to reveal to me what needs to be worked on.

Do you trust or do not trust yourself? Write it down.

Do you forget or afraid to give love? Write it down.

Do you love being kind, caring towards yourself? Write it down.

Lesson 3. Stay cool

No matter what–stay calm.

In Russia we say “stay calm as a chilled cucumber! ” Yep. Do not react with your negative barf….respond with love by acknowledging their different or unique insights. Be open to see their point of view. There is always something to learn.

Remember it is only their opinion. But it all goes back to you. People become your mirror.  Ask yourself, “What do I need to work on in my life?” Try to stay calm as your face challenging people. They are in your life for a reason and often for a season.

No matter how successful you are, your tough love teachers  are not always going to be your friends. They are people who challenge you or people you deal on a daily basis, so you can learn certain life lessons, clean up and achieve more.

In summary, I want to give a piece of advice- be gentle to yourself as well. Make sure your self-care is top notch. Sleep 8-9 hours every night, eat vegetables and fruits, eliminate sugars and processed foods. Eat clean and drink plenty of water. Laugh more and take 30 min walks every day. It is basic but it will support you through challenging times.

If you are dealing with life issues that are affecting your relationships, career or your business let’s work together. Fill the application on my page and I will be honored to be of service to you. Click here to learn more.

With love


Coach Tatyana


3 thoughts on “Three big lessons you can learn from your haters and how to win your battles!

  1. Great post, Tatyana. I needed to read this today. It’s funny – the haters are our teachers, and we, in turn, are theirs’. When we manage to overcome our own engagement with their ‘hate’ then they see our response, and learn from it. That’s not why we do it, but it’s a bonus byproduct! I really appreciate this post today, thank you & blessings, Reba

  2. I would say, “Thank you. I will put that in the suggestion box.” anytime someone was negative. I love haters. If they are talking about you then you must be doing something right. For someone to spend so much time, ‘hating’ you who isn’t truly affecting them. That’s their problem. Great read.

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