How To Overcome Self-Sabotage: 3 Beliefs That Can Frustrate You

1094027_10153067503475463_777139257_oIt was a beautiful Saturday morning. I was enjoying a cup of coffee on the patio of a local coffee shop.  Right before our session, my client expressed his desire to feel balanced and motivated. We talked about ups and downs in the world of a business owner, a man who was going through a few personal challenges, a father who did his best to support his kids. In order to help him have breakthroughs I had to understand where he was in life at that moment and how he viewed himself. Basically, I had to read his life story to get a good picture.

During our 90 minutes coaching session, we have covered top 3 beliefs that could frustrate us, sabotage our goals and what he could do to overcome self-sabotage.

1. Lack of passion.

Sometimes when we are exhausted we have a belief that we are losing our passion, a sense of purpose and become unclear about our direction in life.  Just a few years ago, I have also lost my passion, but not because I was no longer interested in doing what I did. I was simply exhausted. I was not sleeping well and did not take care of my body. I was going through the most ugly divorce and  it was very stressful. I had to accept where I was and stop beating myself  up. It did not mean I had to feel sorry for myself, but I learned to be more kind and loving with one person I saw in the mirror every day— Tatyana!

I had to take care of my basic needs: sleep, good food, exercise, and lots of prayers.

And…You can reignite your passion by taking care of your basic needs first. You must balance yourself and get back to feeling normal. When you feel exhausted and depressed, the best thing you can do is SLEEP! You must sleep at least 9 hours, eat healthy clean meals, and drink plenty of water. It is very simple yet we avoid it.

Remember, your passion is ENERGY. When your energy reserves are low, you cannot feel excited about life. You must replenish your energy bank reserves. Then you can decide what you love to do and what you are passionate about. Until you feel good again, you will not recognize your passions. I advised my client  to increase self-care to reignite a sense of direction and his passions.

2. Choose words wisely.

Words can be our worst self-sabotaging tools! My client said ” I do not value MONEY. It does not longer matter”. I said, “A-ha! Now I see why you have money issues!”  Because he did not value money, money stopped showing up.  He has lost passion in life, and he associated his money flow with his passion. Since he has lost his passion money was no longer important.

But sometimes you have to respect what supports your life to avoid stressful life situations.

Words carry power. What you love, loves you. What you discredit, discredits you. You can talk yourself into success. You can talk yourself into failure. It is a choice! Words we speak can sabotage our own success. Watch your words. There is life and death in the power of your tongue. A wise man chooses words that can build him up. In his case he was using words that devalued what he was doing…and he was getting what he was choosing.

3. Be true to yourself.

When you try to be like “THEM” you will never be authentic. It will exhaust you. It will frustrate you. It will eventually lead you to the wrong relationships or business decisions. People you meet will reflect who you think you should be and you will feel fake. You have one life to live. Step aside from all you have been doing and ask yourself, “Do I force myself to be something I am not? Do I listen to my heart or what my ego says?”

When we try to be like them, we cannot blossom. Remember a daisy will never be a rose but yet they all have such a beauty and play its role in our lives. When you are true to YOURSELF, the right doors will open for YOU.

I want to finish my article with a poem that reminds us the power of being true to yourself

“Be True to You”:

As you set out on life’s road
unsure of the path you’ll go,
the most important thing you can do
is to always be true to “you”

Always remember who you are
in moments of struggle or fear.
Never forget or give up on
the hopes and dreams you hold dear

There will be setbacks and rejection
and moments of failure too,
but you must overcome any frustration
to achieve the potential of you.

Don’t forget to smile, or laugh,
or to live in the present;
no matter where life takes you
make every memory pleasant.

As you travel along your journey,
know that you’re never alone
and I’ll always be here for you
should you need the comfort of home.

Today I want you to ask yourself three questions,

1. Do I try to be like “Them”?

2. Do I choose words wisely?

3. Do I choose the best self-care for my body?

Have a great week!

Tatyana

P.S. Can I help you today? Book you FREE 30 min session today!

How to Become a Strong and Powerful Woman: 3 Things Every Woman Should Do…

11856473_10155892037655463_1181917273293991093_o “I do not fix problems. I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves.” Louise Hay

Hello.. My name is Tatyana. I am a woman. I am a mom. and…I am worthy. Not long ago I was lost. Everything I once believed in was shattered. I had to start from scratch. Rebirthing experience was quite painful and learning to love myself was honestly scary. I had no choice but to emerge from the depth of the darkest pit in my life. I was living there. I was ready for a change. I was done living in fears I was ready for healing. I was ready for God’s magical touch. I was ready to learn how to live again. I was done with a struggle. I wanted a new relationship with God. And they say when a student is totally ready a teacher shows up.

That was almost 2 years ago. I met one of my spiritual teachers. Mr E. He loves being mysterious, so I call him Mr E. To be honest, I was a bad student. I failed miserably. I thought I knew everything.  I was wrong. I am sure he is reading it and laughing with me, but at that time I thought my life would not get better with his principles and teachings. I was looking for something different, magical, spectacular with a lot of fireworks…and it was quite simple. I had to learn to be humble. I had to learn to silence my chatter. I had to deal with my ego. I had to tell it to stop. I was going through a spiritual boot camp. I felt exhausted. I was expecting meditations and healing would work fast. I was expecting peaceful mornings of prayer.

But it was a tough work. It was a battle of my ego and my soul.  He told me I had to do it or I would do 100 push ups. No thanks. I was ready for spiritual pushups instead. My mind was constantly racing. I was at war with my ego. I was releasing the old me. I was letting go of all negative patterns, programming and layers of what did not belong to me, so I could see REAL TATYANA.

Mr E has taught me how to clear my negative beliefs and patterns, and to be in the moment. The peace of knowing how to handle challenging situations with joy was not an overnight success. It was days and months of practice or I would have to do 50 to 100 push ups a day. I learned how to reset my energy levels and regroup.  I embraced the principles of energy healing and meditation, understanding my body and the power of my mind. My daily prayer was to clear my mind and to see my purpose. I had to take care of my mind before I did anything else. I had to let go of insecurities and it was a long process.

I had to fix my thinking if I wanted a new beginning…

During the course of 20 months, I have learned that I did not have to become a strong woman. I was a strong woman. I was worthy. I realized that challenges would only polish us like a beautiful diamond. If you think you are not strong enough, think twice. If you are going through challenges this very moment, do not get discouraged. You are just being polished. You are being updated or even rebuilt. Be open to growth. Be open to thinking big and dreaming big! Your dreams will change. Your thoughts will change.

You experience a spiritual SHIFT. You become that strong woman. You are the girl who knows how to walk in peace because she experienced turmoil. You are that girl who knows how to love unconditionally because she learned to accept love from God. You are the strong woman who builds her spiritual muscles through her teachers that come into her life.  Courage is her best protection when she is singled out. She stands tall and light as a graceful birch tree but with deep strong roots of an oak tree because she experienced being yanked out of her comfort zone. She practices daily gratitude and kindness because it keeps her going.. I had thought that being a nice and compassionate woman would not make me a strong business woman.

….But I realized that my strength was in the compassion and kindness towards others to understand their needs. I learned we should never underestimate power of a woman. I could have been brutally honest and straightforward, but I choose a compassionate way of dealing with people. I used to be an aggressive gal in sales and push very hard but it is not my way. I believe in being authentic giving, nurturing, but I have my boundaries. People remembered Tatyana as a hustler…But…I said real Tatyana evolved.

Major Life lesson: You don’t need to be aggressive to be happy building a business or dealing with others. You do not need to prove your points..You just need to be confident in who you are… I am grateful for people who pushed me forward and ones who gave up on me because I was no longer an older version. I learned to be compassionate because I knew hate. I learned how to be courageous because I knew fears. I know loyalty of friends I knew betrayal. I know peace because I felt turmoils. So.. It taught me to seek love within me so I could be more. When you go through life challenges, you set much HIGHER goals. They seem unrealistic but they push you to do what YOU never did. You have new priorities. When you go through changes every woman must take care of three things

1. Health — your body, your mind and your spiritual health. I start my day with mediation, prayers. I drink my alkaline kangen water to hydrate myself and have more energy. It gives me mental clarity as well. I do walk at least three times a week and do my circuit training 2. Finances.

For women it is important to be secure and be independent or codependent. There is nothing wrong to seek solutions to create wealth, earn MORE income. it just shows you have a burning desire to make more. When women make more they contribute more. They are natural givers.

3. Love

I am talking about self love and self esteem. I have learned that when I loved myself, the doors opened. Sometimes my love relationship with my own self was not clear. It was not the way I wanted. I worked on my heart through clearing my blocks, using my own intuition, identifying what needed to be worked on. I was constantly in the state of awareness. The results were the reflection of my self love. When I have increased the levels of love within my heart everything else became better. I felt elevated, lighter.

When I let go of hurts and pains (it did take me while) I felt very peaceful. I could accept love from others. The doors opened that were shut and I found myself doing what I love- helping others to experience freedom and love shift. The journey into my heart was amazing and I am grateful because It helped me to see my vision, my purpose, my talents and appreciate myself for who I was…

I am a woman. I am a mom. I am God’s baby.. and what about YOU?> I want to tell you that life happens for YOU. Have a joy in your heart that is happening for your growth. You can have freedom in your life again. You can create income you deserve. You can be with people you love. You can forgive and heal. You can travel again. You can write again.

You can breath and live as God wants you.

If you want to see how I can help you to take ownership of your life, embrace life changes, and get your freedom back…click here

If you are seeking for solutions to add MORE income and would love to partner with me go here .

Love you all! Tatyana

Life after divorce: I have not been honest….

coachphoto1

I have not been honest with myself until….

I have not been honest with myself until I looked at my sons and said…”Heck…what am I doing? Where am I going”? I tell my kids to follow their passion and do what they desire…yet I let my desire slip away…

This thought has been on my mind for a long time. “Me, Tatyana…a woman who inspires people to be better and more…how can I NOT be honest with myself?”

I forgot what it was like to be honest …with one person I should honor the most –  ME. As I was looking at myself in the mirror putting my favorite makeup on, I saw a 40 year old woman who has always believed that honesty was the best policy , even if it would hurt others temporarily. I knew honesty would save myself and others from a long term emotional pain but I was afraid to make a quantum leap to accept myself as I was and just be “authentic me”. I let my divorce and other life trials steer me away from my dreams and I experienced major struggles in my heart. I had to stop it. I had to do it for my sake and my kids sake…YET my divorce pushed me forward to be honest with myself and what I truly craved in life- to love myself and accept who I was and what I loved doing. Drastic life changes either make you or break you. It is a choice. Being true to yourself can set you free.

Then one day I was reading an email from one of the leading coaches that got my attention. She said ONE SINGLE word that made a shift in my entire being – DESIRE. I felt it in every cell of my body. I saw a movie in my head of what had happened in my life to get me to where I was and who I became and where I was heading…

I have always told my coaching clients one thing “ TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF”…Today I had a big aha moment- taking care of yourself starts with honesty. Pure raw honesty that makes you cry from joy that you finally have some guts to say what you want to say and be what you want to be. You let your heart sing your song…you simply do not let the songs of others control your life.

Deep inside I knew what I wanted in life. I envisioned it. I trusted…but then sabotaged myself not because I was not worthy. But because I was not honest with my desire to be who I was destined to be – a coach, an inspirational writer, and the best MOM. When you embrace your desire and go with it your perception of the challenges changes. Challenges become fun and you seek the ways to overcome them. When you hate what you do, challenges become burdens and you have to push so hard that it stresses you out and you want to quit.

The beauty of your life journey…

You see it all starts with a raw authentic desire. Desire to live a real life. Desire to have the best things in life. Desire to love and be loved. Desire to find a soul mate and live in your passion doing what you love.

The TRUTH IS….

I love life coaching. It is one of my passions to serve people. I love to see people lives transform. Their mindset shifts. They see somebody cares enough to be compassionate and kind to them to show them how to move forward and make good choices in life.  They are afraid to love, live and laugh. They forget what is like to matter in somebody’s else life and they forget that they matter with their story, their desire, their passions. They might even believe they live in a fantasy world according to their friends’ opinions and they need someone to tell their dreams do matter.

I have talked to many men and women in my coaching and consulting work. They all want one thing – to do what they desire. They want passion in life. They want to matter. But it will NOT happen unless you are honest with who you are.

Ask yourself what you TRULY desire.

Ask yourself what would it look like?

Be child like.

As Proverbs in the Bible says “Where there is no vision life perishes….” Why do we put a vision on the back burner and forget our own song of life. We let others ‘ song lead us….and we just become the shy followers. No. we are meant to shine. We are meant to be the light God wants us to be.

Everything starts with our desires. Do not push them so deep inside of you and hide it that you forget about them or embarrassed by them.

Honesty is so important w hen it comes to asking yourself “What do I truly want in life?” It starts right there in your heart.

  • Knowing what you really want and being ok with it is honesty.
  • When you can be honest with yourself you become honest with others and meet other people who are honest with you. You start trusting that you will be guided to the right resources and people to help you with achieving it.
  • You will be focused on finding solutions and you will be motivated by your desire that came from a honest heart.
  • Somehow things will work out because you have been honest with yourself and that matters the most.

What you desire may not happen right away but you will be on your path. You will learn new things, experience new things, meet new people that will connect the dots to achieve what you desire.

The good thing happens when we are honest with ourselves – we become open to new adventures, and we are no longer afraid to get out and claim what we have been hiding in our heart for so long.

Honesty with others is awesome. But the awesome sauce, as my son Daniel would say, is honesty with yourself.

If you are ready to make a change but feel you need a push and guidance to get you moving I will be honored to work with you. You can apply for my personal coaching on my website and I will get back to you within 24 hours.

If you are a passionate about your life message and want to serve others through telling your story, reaching a bigger audience and even media I am taking a handful of qualified clients to work with me. It is not for everyone but it could be YOU. Let’s find out.. You can book your consultation here and I look forward to serving you.

 

Have a great week!

Tatyana

How Can The Intuition Be Your Guide…

(in the Japanese gardens)

“Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.”

Intuition is not a mysterious power we own. Some of us think we should only use when we need it but I recommend using it every day! It is a daily practice. It teaches you to be aware!  It is a science for a lot of people who understand how to use it. It is about following your gut feelings and tuning in to your mind power!

When it comes to building a business, sharing your message with your customers, intuition can make a huge difference!  We follow our instincts; we say “I have a vibe!” We FEEL what is the next right action …But how do we really know it is the RIGHT action to take?

Especially when you are surrounded by the people who influence your actions it is hard to determine if your intuition is RIGHT or WRONG!

You might get nervous and feel strong urge in your stomach and your intuition tells you a message! Intuition can guide us and deliver the ideas that can take our business and our personal life to a new happier level!

There are few ways that you can improve your intuition:

  1. Meditation is one of the ways to sharpen your intuition to clear your head and your heart so you know and FEEL what RIGHT is for you!
  2. Know what you want and stop allowing others tell you what they think you want
  3. Take time to enjoy a great meal, with fresh herbs. Trust me it allows your body to relax, recharge and enjoy the process. You are in the NOW and it helps your intuition.
  4. Often intuition is becoming stronger after traumatic events in your life. It happened with me. I let go of toxic situations, forgave and moved forward. Was it hard? OH YES! But it takes practice to let go and know in your mind it is for YOUR good!
  5. Good rest and sleep!  Sometimes before bedtime I say to myself “God reveals the way I should go in my life or what I should do” Losing sleep over the difficult life or business decision is NOT worthy. Your intuitive solutions will come to you when you are relaxed and emerge with the morning sunshine!
  6. Learn to relax and not live in fear and doubts when it comes to solving difficult situations. True thinking is clear of fear.
  7. Laugh. Laughter allows you to be in the moment..

 

It is all about self love. When you love yourself you develop the best intuition. You honor the God spirit in you and HE will guide you to create the best life you are destined to have!

 

Have a wonderful Easter Weekend!

 

Sincerely

Tatyana Gann